February 9th, 2016: A regular Tuesday morning for me. Get up unwillingly for college to attend the first lecture (because our education system wants minimum attendance). I check my phone to steal two more minutes to sleep, but I fail because I am already late. And the reason behind being late isn’t because I already overslept that day. The reason behind being already late is this email that I receive at exactly 6:32 am with a subject ‘c+’ and sender called ‘infopostmaster93.’ (Honestly, this name sounds like the username made by a frustrated kid in 2050 after getting 21,390 usernames rejected because they are already taken up by you, me and our fellow living beings).
So, the email because of which I had to face the ‘always-a-late-comer’ look of my teacher once again said some really sweet things to me. It clearly made me richer by Five Hundred Thousand Great British Pounds. I was overwhelmed. After of course realizing that this is lamest means to rob me down. I was overwhelmed that out of so many people on this Earth, these guys chose me to play around with. I felt special. Thank you Mr. /Ms infopostmaster93. The email very sweetly said the following:
“DEAR WINNER This is to inform you that your email address has won you the sum of Five Hundred Thousand Great British Pounds, (£500,000 .00GBP) in BBC COMPANY NATIONAL LOTTERY UK. The draw Number brought out your Email address from coverage to over 1000 Internet Network Users and qualified you the fourth (4th) position among the benefited winners of the stated winning amount each, in the ongoing BBC NATIONAL LOTTERY, AWARDS 2016, PROGRAMME. Your email address was selected by advanced Electronic Robot random search from email addresses actively online through attached winning lottery No. 10 12 18 34 52 56 BONUS 50 of draw No. 2100. This awards gives grants to sustain and transform individual life’s all over the global for the less privilege once; we are here to use our diverse Heritage Lottery Fund (HLF) to change lives in every part of the world
We here by congratulate you for been a lucky winner of this great opportunity from BBC National lottery prize award program “
BAM! Such a happy morning I have never had before. Not even when I get up on a holiday and realize I can sleep. I feel like the chosen special kid out of the lot who is being awarded for her mere existence and for wasting time online (my email address was chosen because I was one of the most active people). I felt my existence for about two decades is being finally rewarded. I felt I could just stop going to college and slogging in Mumbai because, Hello? I am rich now? The position I received in this lottery- that is still better than all the positions combined I have ever received in my school life. If this were true, kids would always use me as an excuse from their parents to use the internet for 5 more minutes. If this were true, parents themselves would leave things and sit online. Only if this was true.
I was impressed by the person who drafted this email with all the care. S/he made sure that I shouldn’t doubt the intentions and the honesty, so clearly mentioned why I was the special chosen one. The procedure of selection, the generous company that’s paying me for my existence and the amount of some GBP everything was clearly written. There was no scope of any questions or any queries. The only thing that was left was to send them my details and BAM, get richer than everyone of you combined.
So getting over this overwhelming email, I decide to make a move and drag myself to college. College has more often than not been a drowsy and sad place for me. I am often just physically present there. And February 9th was no exception. In fact it gave me another reason to have my mind the world where I am a billionaire now. Sitting in the canteen, trying to complete my journal that I have to submit in about 2 hours, I suddenly receive a new mail. And this time, my lovely lottery giving guys they took this relationship a step forward. They got me approval from their ‘U.K. Branch’ and told me to claim my reward. Again, making me feel special that despite the fact that I didn’t respond to the first email, they still are interested in giving me the prize for existing and are doing the needful. (Only if I were little more co-operative, I would have been richer today, but never mind.)
I ignore the second mail. Half an hour later, my phone beeps again, as if it decided not to let me complete my journal today. Mail no.3 asking me fill up this weird form so that they can reward me for living and tolerating all the people I don’t like. They also get me World Bank’s approval for this. I am overwhelmed to have my name gone till there by doing absolutely nothing. I ignore it. Mail no. 4 in another twenty minutes. This time the company that was giving me the lottery suddenly changed to Coca Cola. I ignore it again. And suddenly, there was peace no disturbance for some good hours. I am happy and sad at the same time that this lottery ball isn’t in my court anymore.
And just when I thought that it was over, my phone beeps again. And you won’t believe, this time, The Reserve Bank of India apparently mails me to claim this lottery, converts the amount in Indian Rupee and types out everything I need to provide the respective authorities with a RBI watermark on the document. I like how the people behind this movement have tried their level best to maintain the authenticity of the procedure and the included everything I could ever think about- the World Bank, RBI, Coca Cola and blah blah. The watermarks, the contacts of all the authorities, the details of the procedure before and after my selection everything has been included properly so that I don’t doubt the intentions.
But you know what, I am still not convinced. This is to all those who are behind these sorts of tasks: Guys, I wish I were naïve enough to get in the plan. I wish I would have sent you my details and got robed down. I wish I would have entertained your mails and responded well to them. But alas, I didn’t. I totally appreciate the efforts behind creating so many email ids and sending me emails from a new id every time after I blocked and reported spam your mails. I appreciate and recognize the efforts behind creating the documents with the details and the watermarks. I appreciate your patience of sending me mails regularly as well as at an interval of literally 10-15 days.
You chose the wrong person. You have chosen a person who has entertained calls from the so called bank officials telling me to share my ATM card details so that they can unblock my already (un)blocked ATM card. You chose a person who has been chosen by BMW for a lottery of Rs. 50,000. You chose a person who was unfortunately literate enough to not fall in the trap. To all the organizers, wish you better luck next time! And to all my dear readers, keep an eye on your mails, you never know, one morning you wake up to be the proud owner of Five Hundred Thousand Great British Pounds!!!